April 2022.Losses for Wins
With disdain I begin this tale, as to tell it gives the failure jurisdiction.
As it is said; Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
I have many blessings in my life, an easy life really, compared to many. Although sometimes I think that it just seems easy in comparison because we all only receive to the extent that we can handle. I wonder sometimes how those who so often judge my life would react to being in my shoes.
Knowing the Lord hasn't prevented the curse of depression and disdain creeping up on me from time to time; we all have our battles and shortcomings. I feel fortunate that now I do my darndest to find solace in those losses, knowing they are not for naught.
Yea, doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord; for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ... (Philippians 3:8)
Like a potent and smooth salve, topped with a soft cotton covering, it ever so eases the pain. It does not, however, delete the sting to my soul that it has marked. We all have hopes and goals in life, some simple and small and others grandeur and dreamy. It has become for me, a small battle within myself to discern what is the appropriate measure of effort to attain those goals while still being a follower of Christ, staying true to scripture. We are to take up our cross daily, and deny ourselves.
How far do we take that is the big question, concerning career goals, family, living situations, etc. It can be such a battle because the enemy often makes the wrong choice very easy, but God also opens doors easily where we ought to go. Needless to say prayer has become a very useful tool!
Your will not mine, Lord.
I was raised basically secular (cross hanging on the wall and grace at dinner, but no talk of religion or church attendance); and became a believer as an adult. My mom dabbled in the church, but never took to impose her beliefs on me. Something now I am very grateful for, as I fear it would have done much more harm than good based on the remainder of her spiritual walk.
Although, where I live is seemingly a very God fearing country in general, there is also the small danger of the salvation taken in lightness with the arid spiritual undertones of the general public. I am not poking or attempting to stir the pot, but it can be agreed that in some religious circles there are attitudes and rituals that may not line up fully with scripture. Anyhow, you get a lot of people around proclaiming the will of God over their life daily, while also daily acting very careless and sinful- the toxic super-grace mentality. While I am still maturing in my acceptance of God’s divine grace, it’s easy to judge the other side who are too complacent in their grace.
I became saved after having been in a relationship with this type of man, who now in one breath will proclaim God to bless our son so earnestly, and in the next breath curse my love of the bible and God. A common judgement is that I have changed so much, and boating that they have stayed the same. As if that were a triumph. Refusing to see the point I often make, that normal and healthy people do change, mature, and grow in time.
So to what end do we continue to fight for our dreams? I have seen the results of both extremes, and they both seem to be likewise unfulfilling and far from God in many ways.
I cannot speak for those people, but only from what I see as an outsider. One, a woman presumably outwardly living her dreams, to which I saw from being to now come to fruition. A lovely little life and business she has built for herself. Although it seems that any mishap or shortcoming may fall on her shoulders and be a burden in that way. So much glory to God is forsaken via her hard work and persistence. Another, a man, who presumably has left all his own efforts behind, possibly in the name of attempting to allow the will of God to fully work in his life. This time, all the shortcomings falling on God, therefore giving great reason to hold grudge and regret towards the Lord. There is a saying here, "Si Dios quiere," if God wants. So we use this model in all areas, big and small in life.
But there is still no clear outline to how far we ought to ride this command outside of either sinful, purity and/or of the will of God. So a sure battle it has been for me to find a happy medium in the midst.
My hopes and purpose in this tale is I suppose, to simply share and grieve for a moment together, that we are not alone, and although we also share the great gain of Christ, we also share the hurts of the losses. These are the guts and glory of what should be our brotherhood. We walk by faith, not sight.
Evangelical: emphasizing salvation by faith in the atoning death of Jesus Christ through personal conversion, the authority of Scripture, and the importance of preaching as contrasted with ritual.
I came across a video done by some young twenty-something or so guys, claiming to be evangelizing patrons at a bar around midnight. Now, in all normal manner of thinking this seems like a sketchy idea. What could we possibly say as believers to convert some drunks at a bar? Well when you put it that way, there are a few things that come to mind. But what doesn't seem logical right off the bat would be to convict these drunks of their sinful ways. Who wants to be told that what they are doing is wrong? Well, no one, in fact. But that is exactly what these kids were doing. I was excited to watch the video, and took a whole hour of my precious alone, single mom time in the late night just to do it. I was sadly dissapointed, however. Further wasting my night afterwards, attempting to help a confidont of these young men understand that what they were doing, first off, was not really evangelizing, and secondly, would not save or help anyone. But just as the drunks in the bar, this kid would have no part or agreement to the ideas I was trying to enlighten him with.
My road as a believer has been nothing short of miraculous, even straigt up mystifying and bizarre at times. Something that I never expected as an unsaved, secular person. I always believed in God, in some way or another, but was never before sure of who He was or what He had to do with me and my life. Over the last eight years that idea has radically changed. Even just recently I finally had the world rocking revelations of what grace actually is and how it ought to be applied to life.
But back to the drunks and Christians at the bar. That could be the start of a good joke, no?
Well it sure seemed like a joke the further along I got into this "evangelizing" video. These young men were actually seemingly knowledgeable and had quite a few memorized verses under their belt. But their message that went along with it was nothing more than persicution and fear inducing. Even their matching hoodies said something like "Jesus will save you from hell." A good and true message, but not the first thing an active sinner wants to hear. It made me laugh at one point when a guy came up saying "you're in hell brothers, haven't you realized?" I often have had this thought and truly contemplated that possibility. It seems thoroughly logical when you look at the world we live in, and also consider the second coming; that Jesus will come to take all the believers away with him to heaven and leave the rest behind here. So is this just hell on earth? That will be another discussion for another time.
So anyway... A thought to start with is, do sinners go to heaven? 110%. I think that's the line in the sand where so many are either on one side or the other, and I, at this point in my understanding, stand firm in having one foot on each side. This is the message these boys ought have been preaching. We are all sinners, and that is an unchangeable fact, thanks to the serpent and Adam and Eve.
I can understand where these guys were coming from, because I too in my faith had a period of time where I felt very persicuted, and even leaned more towards Judaism and law in my worship, thinking I was supposed to follow many rules to please God. I am still in the process of breaking out of this way of thinking, but find it imperitive to keep my foot on that side of the line as it is multiple times stated in scripture, that yes, we will be judged.
1 Corinthians 9:20 comes to mind concerning this. That perhaps it is good to become like others, even in perhaps undesirable manners, so we may experience what is like to be them and therefore may gain understanding of them and have a way into their hearts, and bring Jesus along with us.
Anyhow, the judgement proclaimed now seems to be on what the "new" law became after Jesus died and resurrected. We are to love God above all, with all our heart and soul, and love our fellow man as we love ourselves. If we can do that, the rest naturally falls in line. If we truly do those two commandments. I find it really unsettling to see so many Christians who live in a way that if they just claim Jesus as saviour, then they are saved and it ends there. I even recently saw a man make a comment saying something like "Well I don't have to change because I am cleansed by Jesus." That is partly true, but those who truly know Jesus continually and fervently are ever changing and advancing in their knowledge of God and their faith in him, and attempting at least a little bit, to sanctify themselves. This has been my personal experience, anyways.
It's the same as anything, really. You can claim to be anything, but until you do that thing, it is an empty claim. We can claim to be Christian, but until we attempt to live like Christ, that is an empty and fruitless endevour. But still, we will never escape the sin of the flesh, so we do have to make some sort of peace with that. Do our best to be good in the eyes of God, but also know that nothing we will ever do could ever please God enough to win our salvation. As it is always said, it is a free gift, paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is not, however, a get out of jail free card to sin. (See Romans 6:15, and all of Romans for that matter, is wonderful concerning this debate, in fact.)
We are called to share the good news. The good news is what will penetrate the hearts of the secular and lukewarm. It is what the last straw was in my faith that got me to understand what being saved by grace really is.
As I continue to understand what the word love actually means, my understanding of God deepens. Love the sinner, not the sin. Easy to say, much harder to do, especially when you hate sin. Much easier to do when you realize we cannot escape sin.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
(Ephesians 6:12)